Everyone has a secret
by Rose Valentine
Summary: Danny and Lindsay try to keep their growing relationship under cover at work. Will they uncover each other's secrets along the way? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. New Update!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Characters from CSI: NY. **

He stood over her, breathing fiercely, "This is all your fault Lindsay." He lowered the knife down to her throat, "I don't know if I should kill you now... or have my fun with you…" He drew his knife across Lindsay's face, barely touching her skin.

Danny closed the door to his apartment, locking it behind him. He saw Lindsay's jacket neatly hung over a chair. "She must be here" he mumbled, smiling slightly as he removed his jacket. It wasn't unusual for Lindsay to crash at Danny's apartment when she was working such crazy night hours. Suddenly he heard a noise in the bedroom. It sounded like Lindsay.

"Montana? You alright?" He drew his gun out of his holster, quietly walking to the bedroom. As he came closer he heard her voice,

"No! Don't touch me! NO!"

That tipped him off. He flung open the door, to see Lindsay tangled up in the blankets, kicking and screaming at someone who, wasn't there. Danny put his gun away and walked over to the nightmare induced Lindsay.

"Hey- Lindsay, wake up" He touched her shoulder lightly, she lashed out at him, still dreaming. "Whoa! Easy wildcat. Wake up Lindsay!" He shook her a little harder, and Lindsay sat up very quickly, almost knocking Danny over.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Lindsay said, and then looked around. "Wait…"

Danny laughed and sat on the side of the bed, "That must have been some dream Montana." He brushed her tousled hair off her face.

Lindsay looked around, confused, trying to keep herself from crying. "It seemed so real… like it was happening all over again…"

"What was happening?" Danny looked into Lindsay's brown eyes, showing complete concern.

Lindsay thought for a moment before swinging her legs over the side of the bed to get up, "It was nothing. Just a dream" she sighed and stood, looking back at Danny, who didn't look totally convinced. "Did you just get in?"

Danny got up as well, "Yea. Crazy day, I'm sure you'll be busy tonight. I'll make you some coffee." He walked into the kitchen, as Lindsay found something to wear.

_If she doesn't want to tell me now, I'm sure it will come out sometime_. Danny thought as he flipped the 'on' switch on the coffee maker. Lindsay walked into the kitchen, dressed and putting on her police badge.

"So it's pretty bad over there?" Lindsay asked as she grabbed a coffee mug, handing it to Danny. He nodded and took the coffee mug from her, looking into her eyes again, but didn't say anything.

Lindsay sighed, "I'm fine Danny. I just had a bad dream."

"Okay Lindsay. I'll believe you this time" He slid his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her forehead gently, "I'm just worried about you – okay? These hours aren't helping you much." He released her to pour her coffee.

"They really are crappy hours. But this is the last week of them." She looked at Danny as he poured the coffee. _He cares so much. I can't tell him anything about that case. It would just worry him more._ Danny handed the mug of steaming coffee to Lindsay. She set it on the counter and wrapped her arms around Danny. She needed his arms around her to comfort her.

"I promise I'll take you out to dinner once you're done this week." He mumbled into her hair. Lindsay nodded slightly. Suddenly her watch started beeping. She sighed and released herself from Danny.

"I better get going." She grabbed her coat and headed for the door. Danny started walking toward the bedroom. Suddenly Lindsay turned around, "Messer!" Danny turned and looked at her, "I think I'm falling in love with you." He smiled and walked over to her, taking her in his arms again.

"Good" he whispered in her ear. "Cause I've been in love with you for awhile" he kissed her gently, and then shooed her out the door. "Go solve some murder cases!" he said as she stepped into the elevator. Lindsay smiled at him as the elevator doors closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the CSI: NY Characters. I did however in this chapter add in a few of my own. Thanks!**

Lindsay put her coat in her employee locker and sighed. "Another long night" she mumbled as she walked out of the locker bay. Stella quickly caught up with her.

"Hey Lindsay, good to see you." She handed Lindsay a few papers.

"What's on the agenda for this evening?" Lindsay said, shifting through her papers.

Stella sighed and turned Lindsay in the direction of the morgue. "There was a little girl murdered." Lindsay shook her head grimly as Stella continued, "Died of blood loss. Her name was Jessica Harding. Her foster father will be here shortly"

At the sound of her name Lindsay stopped. "What did you say her name was?"

Stella looked at Lindsay, confused, "Jessica Harding."

"Do you know who her real parents were?" Lindsay looked concerned; she was gripping the papers Stella had given her tightly, her knuckles white.

Stella looked at one of her papers, "Her mother is dead. She was a teenage mom who was killed in a murder case in…" Stella looked at Lindsay "Montana… Lindsay… did you know her?"

Lindsay shook her head in disbelief, "Her mother… Hanna Harding. She was one of my friends in High School." Lindsay laughed in spite of herself, "She was the only cheerleader I could be friends with." Her mood changed back, her eyes snapped up to Stella's, "How did her daughter die?" Lindsay's voice was filled with fear. _Jack would have gotten out of jail 5 months ago…_She didn't want that to be the case.

"I told you- Blood loss." Stella studied Lindsay's behavior "I can have Mac take you off the case if you want."

"Stella- how did she die of blood loss?" Lindsay raised her voice a little at this, she had to know what happened.

"Lindsay…"

"Just TELL me Stella!" Lindsay was practically shouting at this point.

Stella sighed, "Her wrists were slashed, along with her throat."

Lindsay's whole body went rigid at the description. Images came flooding back to her, screams echoed in her head. She could see them all there, on the floor. Hanna's glazed over eyes. Stella's voice brought Lindsay back to the present.

"Lindsay! Are you going to be alright?" She put her hand on Lindsay's shoulder, "If it's going to be difficult because you knew her mother I could get you switched. Is it too much to ask how her mother died?"

Lindsay shook her head slowly, clearing her throat, "Her mother died the same way." At that, Stella whirled around to go find Mac. Lindsay called after her "Stella!" She turned to face her. "How soon can I be switched off the case?"

Stella nodded, "As soon as I talk to Mac." She headed down the hall in search for Mac Taylor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the characters from CSI. sigh**

Mac asked Lindsay to come to his office. Lindsay entered quietly, closing the glass doors behind her. She felt like the whole world could see what Mac had to say to her.

"So you think this may be the return of Hanna Harding's killer?" Mac always went right down to business, his face was tired, but hard set. He was set on solving the case.

"I'm almost one hundred percent sure it's the same guy Mac. He would be the one to do that sort of thing." Lindsay quickly quieted herself, afraid she had said too much.

Mac looked up from his computer screen, "How do you know the killer?" his eyes were thoughtful, trying to sort all the clues out.

Lindsay thought for a moment before answering, "We lived in a small town. Everybody knew everybody." She shrugged, as if that was all she could say.

Mac nodded thoughtfully and Lindsay breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret would stay covered, for now. Mac studied Lindsay for a moment, something wasn't quite the same about her, although, she had been working late nights lately.

"Why don't you just go home Lindsay?" Mac said as he looked back at his computer.

"Are you sure Mac? I mean, there must be something around here I can do. Besides," She added quickly, "I do need these hours Mac." She sat forward on her seat, eager to be re-assigned somewhere far away from the possibility of seeing Jack.

"Fine Lindsay." Mac rolled his eyes sarcastically, "There's that circus performer that had an 'accident' in the ring tonight. I'll send you down there right away." He handed Lindsay some papers and sent her down to the Circus.

She enjoyed being away from the lab. No one could read her face, or her thoughts. Things were getting too dangerous at the office. There was a possibility that Jack would be there for an interview. But then again, there's a possibility that Jack had nothing to do with the little girl's murder. But Lindsay knew, somewhere deep inside that Jack had done this, to get Lindsay's attention. She tried not to think about it as she gathered evidence from around the circus ring.  
"I had no idea people could be so messy" she said to herself, as she picked up yet another paper cup.

**Meanwhile**...

Danny had just gotten his shoes off and put his feet up when his phone rang. The 'cheery' tone told him that Stella was trying to get a hold of him. He sighed, trying not to get angry about being called in after a long shift.  
"Hello Stella."

"Danny- Do you think you could come in? Lindsay had to be shifted to another case and we're one CSI short."

"I'll be there in a little bit Stella." Danny hung up the phone and went to get his jacket and shoes. Why had Lindsay been switched off the a case? Did it have something to do with the dream?

"I knew those crazy hours would get the best of her." He mumbled to himself as he walked out the door down to the subway.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dear readers, Sorry the last chapter was so boring. I hope that this will be more exciting for you to read.**

**Disclaimer: I STILL do not own any of the characters from CSI:NY.**

After wrapping it up at the Circus, Lindsay returned to the lab, not with anything exciting to report. The performer just had an accident; there was no foul play involved. As the elevator doors opened to the their floor, Lindsay felt her heart stop. There, walking down the hall was that familiar walk. His hair was the color of tar, and flowed gracefully. Any unsuspecting woman would fall easily into his muscular arms. She couldn't see his face, but Lindsay knew from the man's saunter that it was him. She quickly ducked into the closest office, where she came face to face with Stella.

"Oh! Stella. How's it going?" She put down her kit on the counter.

Stella gave Lindsay a funny look. She looked like she had just seen a ghost.

"Well, we looked into what you said about it being the same guy, and it turns out all the evidence points to him. It was like he was waiting for us to come and get him. Some guys can just be so stupid." With that comment, Stella left the small office, leaving Lindsay to ponder. Just then, she decided what she had to do. She quickly went down the hall, catching up to Stella.

"Stella" Lindsay said, stopping Stella from continuing down the hall, "Let me interview him." Stella gave Lindsay another look, but Lindsay continued, "He knows me. Maybe he'll open up more if I'm the one interviewing him."

Stella thought for a long moment, then nodded slowly, her curls bouncing with every nod, "That sounds like a good idea. Here Lindsay" she handed her a few pictures of the crime scene and of the little girl, "Show these to him. I'm going to go get some more info." And then Stella was gone down the hall again, her curls bouncing behind her.

Lindsay walked down to the interview rooms, coming up to Danny and Mac. Danny gave her a funny look, but Lindsay pretended she didn't see it.

"What are you doing here Lindsay?" Mac asked, his hand on the doorknob.

"Stella thought it would be a good idea if I interviewed him. Since he knows me a little better." With that comment, Danny's face hardened. He hadn't been told why Lindsay had been taken off the case, and that didn't make him very pleased.

Mac nodded. "Sounds good Lindsay. Danny and I will watch from in here." He motioned with his thumb to the room behind the mirror. Lindsay nodded as Mac entered the small room with Danny following, stopping once to give Lindsay another quizzical look. She just nodded at him, her brown eyes set hard.

Just as Lindsay entered the interview room, Stella burst into the small adjoining room, waving a sheet of paper in her hand. She set it in front of Mac and Danny, taking a deep breath and pointing to the printed out newspaper article.

"Look here." She pointed to the middle of the article "It says here that this Jack Manning killed the entire group he went to prom with over his girlfriend breaking up with him before college. Everyone in the prom group died, except for, ironically…." Stella added, "His date, Sarah Monroe. She was in a coma for three weeks, and was the only one left alive."

Mac looked through the window, "So that means…"

Suddenly, the killer spoke for the first time, smiling evilly, "Hello Sarah"


	5. Chapter 5

**Just what you were waiting for... :D This scene is a little grapic describing things, but it's not too bad.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the Characters from CSI. I only created a couple more to add.**

Lindsay threw the pictures down on the table, "Did you kill this little girl?" she pointed to the pictures and the crime scene, glaring down at were Jack sat. He just looked back up at Lindsay and smiled. "Did you do this?" she wouldn't say anything else. He had to know she wasn't afraid of her.

"Sarah, my little peach." In the other room, Danny visibly shivered, "What have you been doing since we spoke last?" his lips curled around his teeth, a stunning white smile.

Lindsay sat down at the table, "Last time we spoke you tried to kill me." The killer nodded, the smile slowly fading from his face.

"Yea, and why didn't you die Sarah?" he folded his hands on the table, looking deep into Lindsay's dark brown eyes with his piercing cold blue ones.

"Did you kill this little girl?" Lindsay said again, breaking her gaze away from him and pushing the pictures closer to Jack.

He laughed, the sound hitting Lindsay's eardrums like gunshots. She had heard the same laugh before she blacked out that night so long ago. "You always had a one track mind Sarah. So tell me, what was on your mind when you saw all your friends DIE right in front of you, and you could do nothing?" he smiled again, and Lindsay clenched her fists under the table.

"Did you kill this little girl?"

"You're looking good you know. As you always have my pet."

Lindsay didn't look at him, "I don't belong to you."

Jack raised his voice for the first time, "YOU DO. AND YOU ALWAYS WILL." He tried to stand up, but the police officer in the room held him in the chair. This didn't stop him, "Remember the senior class newspaper? We were voted most likely to get married."

Lindsay nodded a little, but said, "Most _likely_. And who marries their high school sweetheart?"

The killer was silent for a second then said, "Who signs their friend's death sentence? Remember we were supposed to be that little girl's Godparents." He pointed at the picture, "It was all worked out, Hanna would marry her current boyfriend, and Kelly was going to be the next Olympic swimmer, she had a great body for it." At recalling her friends, Lindsay was silent. However, Jack went on, his voice lowered an octave when he said, "But you were great too. I remember that night as if it happened yesterday. I remember how your blood felt in my hands…" he grinned again at Lindsay, "And how it tasted in my mouth."

In the connected room, Danny folded his arms so Mac and Stella wouldn't see his clenched fists. He was trying to keep himself from going in there. Mac gave Danny a sidelong glance and saw his brow furrowed and eyes hard set. Mac almost had to smile in spite of the situation. Danny was so protective. But the murderer was still speaking,

"Do I still haunt your dreams Sarah? I can see I've made my mark on you." Lindsay's hand went up to her neck, where there was a thin white line running across it. "I see that you cover it up nicely, but I can know where my handiwork is."

Lindsay struggled to get the words out, "Did… you… kill… this little….Girl?"

This made Jack laugh again. "You can't hide your feelings from me. You are scared out of your mind right now, aren't you? But I've always wondered Sarah- Why didn't you die?"

"DID YOU KILL HER?" Lindsay was tired of being reminded of that fateful night. She wanted Jack back in jail where he belonged.

Jack smiled again, chuckling to himself, "Yea. I killed her. To warn to you, that no matter where you go, I can find you. And I can get out of jail real easy by playing the 'crazy' card. Then," he laughed heartily, "I'll be back for you. You can never be safe. Or anyone you ever love." He lowered his voice, almost to a whisper, "but I bet you haven't loved much. I bet I've scared you so bad, that you can't attach to anyone without worrying that they'll try to kill you."

"That's not true Jack."

"YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME" he slammed his fists on the table, trying to rise again.

Lindsay got up and paced on her side of the table, "That was a foolish mistake"

"And how many of those have you made since you left?"

With that comment, Lindsay looked right through the glass window, a gaze Danny felt directed right at him, "None" She said coolly, turning back to the murderer, but upon seeing his face she cringed.

"I'm really getting to you now Sarah. I bet you won't sleep for months after our little talk."

Lindsay sat down again, the stress from the conversation overtaking her body. She looked at the police officer, "He's confessed. Take him away"

As the officer handcuffed Jack, he laughed, "Next time you won't be so protected Sarah. I'll have my way with you. Just like I did then. And next time, you won't get away." With that, the police officer took him out of the room, and Lindsay collapsed with her head on the table, just as Mac, Stella and Danny rushed into the interview room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Readers- Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. School has started, which means a ton of homework. So please be patient? Also- I don't know if you like it or not unless you leave a review! I love reading your feedback.**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own any of the characters of CSI: NY.**

The first thing Lindsay remembered hearing was a voice. Calling her name

"Lindsay? Lindsay?"

She recognized the voice at once, the accent was unmistakable, and it was surely Danny. She smiled a little, and mumbled, "But it's not time to get up yet" she attempted to turn over, then realizing she wasn't in bed. She felt cold floor beneath her body, and sat up quickly, opening her eyes.

She first saw Stella, her face looking slightly relieved and she shook her head, smiling, her curls bounced along with her, "No Lindsay- It is time to get up."

Lindsay blushed slightly and turned to the left to see Mac. His eyes were thoughtful, but that's all Lindsay could tell. His face was almost always a mystery to Lindsay. She then felt a soft squeeze on her right hand, and she turned to see Danny Messer's worried face. Out of all three of them, he looked the most concerned. She slipped her hand out of his grasp after a moment. Lindsay was the one who wanted to keep their relationship a secret at work, Danny never objected to her.

Suddenly, Lindsay remembered what happened, she turned to Mac and spoke for the first time since she awoke, her words flooding out of her mouth like a waterfall, "Mac I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, It just never seemed like the right time and it's not something I go telling people and I"

Mac interrupted, shaking his head, "It's not something that you should have to talk about Lindsay. Let's take you home. I can give you a ride" he stood and offered his hand to Lindsay, who took it, slowly standing. The rest followed suit.

Stella placed her hand on Lindsay's shoulder, "Is there anyone I can call for you Lindsay?" Lindsay shook her head, "A friend in town maybe?" Once again, Lindsay shook her head. She silently followed Mac out of the interview room, ashamed that she had been found out, after keeping it a secret for so long. He had to ruin her life, just as things were getting good.

The car ride back to Lindsay's apartment was quiet. On Lindsay's part that is. Mac occasionally mentioned something about Jack not getting out easy, and going to jail possibly for life. He also told her to take a few days off. This time, Lindsay couldn't refuse. As she was getting out of the car, Mac stopped her for a moment

"Lindsay- You have had therapy for this?"

She nodded slowly, "I have. Three years."

"Good. I'll see you in a few days then." He offered a reassuring smile as Lindsay closed the door and walked up to her apartment building.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry the last Chapter was a bit boring. This is a sweet one. Also why I changed my rating to T.**

**Disclaimer- I still do not own any of the characters in CSI: NY**

She had to do something, sleep wasn't an option at this point, not after what happened. Suddenly, lighting flashed outside, with the thunder following shortly after. Lindsay shivered as the rain started, pounding on her window with an inhuman force. For no reason, she decided what she needed to do. She dropped her coat and keys, heading to the window, opening it quickly and climbing out onto the fire escape, letting the rain soak into her clothes and skin, trying to let it wash away the memories that the interview had sparked. The wind whipped her wet hair around her face, the rain still pelting down. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there when she heard a soft knocking sound from the window behind her. Turning around, she jumped upon seeing Danny standing inside. He opened the window and climbed out onto the fire escape not saying a word.  
"Danny…" Lindsay whispered. She turned her face to him, he noticed she had been crying. Still silent he wrapped his arms around Lindsay, holding on tight. She buried her face in his shirt, his body warm and comforting against her cold wet one. Right now, nothing else mattered. Danny bent his head toward hers, his Staten Island accent soothing her mind, "You should come inside Lindsay. You'll get sick if you stay out here too long."

Lindsay shook her head, allowing herself to cry freely. She tightened her arms around his back, her body shaking with every sob.

"Shh… it's gonna be okey Lindsay" he whispered in her ear again, "Don't cry."

After standing in his arms for who knows how long, Danny slipped one arm under Lindsay's knees and lifted her effortlessly back through the window into the apartment. He followed after her, closing the window behind him. They each stood there a moment, letting the rain drip off of them. Finally, Lindsay spoke, her voice hushed, "I'm going to go change" Danny nodded, removing his raindrop covered glasses. As Lindsay stepped into her bedroom, Danny removed his soaking wet shirt and went to hang it over a chair. He noticed Lindsay's discarded coat and keys on the floor. Sighing, he went and sat on the couch, his head in his hands. After a few minutes, he heard the bedroom door open, sitting up quickly so Lindsay wouldn't see him sitting in such a frustrated manor. Danny studied her for a moment as she walked into the living room. She wore a plain tank top with extra long gray sleep pants. Her wet hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He noticed that the rain had washed off all her makeup, and he could see a thin white line running across her neck. Why hadn't he seen it before?  
Lindsay finally spoke, interrupting his thoughts, "You're quiet Danny." Her voice was still barely above a whisper.  
"I'm thinking" he said, standing up.

Lindsay looked at her feet, unable to look at him, "I'm sorry Danny." It was all she could say.

"When were you going to tell me Lindsay?" he reached out at tipped her chin up so he could see her brown eyes. She studied his eyes for a moment, they were full of worry, pain and anger.

She stepped back from him, "It's not like I can just go around telling people I changed my name because whenever someone said 'Sarah' all I could think about is the man who raped me and nearly killed me!" She raised her voice a little.

After a small silence, Danny spoke, "Were you ever going to tell me?"  
Lindsay looked up at him when he spoke, she heard the pain in his voice and saw it in his eyes, feeling a pain in her heart. Danny continued, "Or would you just keep telling me that bad dreams are nothing, that they don't mean anything. I'd never know what those scars are from. How long would I have to worry?"

Lindsay spoke, her voice fierce but quiet, "Maybe you shouldn't worry so much"

As soon as the words came out of her mouth she regretted them. Danny looked as if she had just stabbed him in the heart. After a few moments, he spoke, more pain creeping into his voice, "I worry because I love you." Lindsay blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears from falling down her face, but Danny continued, "If you don't want me to, I can just leave." He walked over to the chair where is wet shirt hung.

"NO!" Lindsay raised her voice, the urgency in her voice making Danny turn around.  
"No" she whispered again, "I don't want to fight with you Danny. Don't leave. I need you."

He crossed the space between them in three steps, taking her hands in his. He lowered his head to whisper in her ear, "I'd never want to fight with you Montana" he ran his hand down her arm, feeling her flesh tingle. Lindsay put her head on Danny's bare chest, listening to his heartbeat.  
"I love you Danny." She whispered, almost inaudible, letting her tears flow again. As the first teardrop rolled down Danny's skin, he took a small step away from Lindsay, cupped her face in his hands. With his thumbs he gently brushed the tears off her face, looking deep into her eyes, smiling a little, "I didn't think you had any left in there" he said as he wiped another tear away from her face. She laughed softly, but she was cut off by a kiss. Danny moved his arms around her waist, and Lindsay wrapped her arms around his neck. After the kiss broke off, they stood in each other's arms, cheek to cheek. Danny listened to Lindsay breathe, content just to be with her. Lindsay inhaled softly, she loved the way Danny smelled. It was hard to describe, but it always comforted her, that's the reason she slept at his apartment whenever she had the chance, it was almost as good as being with him.

Danny tightened his hold on Lindsay, wanting her to know that she was always safe with him, but without warning, Lindsay broke away, her brown eyes full of panic. Danny gave her a confused look.

"I can't do this Danny!" he opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off, "He said he'd come back, and kill me, and anyone who's close to me. It wouldn't be safe for you!"

Danny couldn't help but laugh. Lindsay looked scared and confused. "I'm serious Danny!"

He wrapped his arms around Lindsay, who tried to push him away. "You obviously don't understand where I grew up, and what I was into"

With that comment, Lindsay stopped struggling, Danny continued, "You're always safe with me. Besides" He stepped back and held onto Lindsay's hands, "Mac said that creep wasn't getting away with anything. He'll be in jail for a long time."

Lindsay looked down at their interlocked hands, "I don't want to think about it." Her voice went hushed again, Danny kissed her forehead gently.

"Then don't."

She nodded slowly, studying him for a moment, his muscular arms, his chest moving in and out with each breath, then looking at his eyes, she slowly smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck again. "When do you have to work next Messer?"

He laughed deep, yet softly, kissing her on the lips quickly, "Not until noon tomorrow"

"Good" she whispered in his ear, making him shiver. With that, Danny picked Lindsay up in the same fashion as before, but this time walking into the bedroom. He turned off the lights and closed the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dear Readers, I've been busy, but here's a quick update. Thanks for the patience**

**Disclaimer: I did not create the characters from CSI:NY. Just added in my own.**

_Buzz Buzz!_

Danny awoke to the sound of his phone buzzing. Sighing, he rolled over and looked at the phone. 11:30. Stella was calling him. He sighed and set the phone back down. It buzzed again, he answered it that time.  
"Hello?" he didn't realize how sleepy his voice sounded

"Danny- This is Stella"  
"Yea I know"  
"Can you work two shifts today? We're all splitting up Lindsay's hours while she's out"  
"Sure."  
"Thanks Danny. See you at Noon."

With that, Danny hung up the phone and looked over at Lindsay. She was just waking up.  
"What was that?" she asked sleepily.  
"Nothin. Just Stella" he smoothed the hair out of her face and kissed her forehead.  
"What did she want?"  
"She's just reminding me that I have to be there at noon." He pulled her close to her, she sighed. "How did you sleep" he mumbled into her hair  
"Horrible." She pushed away from him, her eyes filled in fear. "I've never had such bad dreams"  
"Never?" he took her hand and gently caressed it.  
She pulled her hand away, "I'm sorry Danny- It's not what I need right now."  
He nodded slowly and got out of bed, getting dressed. She closed her eyes for a moment in attempts to go back to sleep, but vicious images flashed on her closed eyelids. She opened them again when there was a knock at the door.  
"Who the hell is that?" Lindsay asked, partially getting up.  
"I'll get it." Danny said. He hadn't put his shirt on yet, but his badge gleamed on his belt.  
Lindsay nodded and pulled her covers around her chin, and waited.

Danny opened the door and stopped. In front of him was an older woman with tousled salt and pepper hair, short and almost stocky, with a bag on the ground next to her. Her brown eyes opened wide with surprise to see a half-dressed Danny in the doorway.  
After a moment of silence Danny said "Can I help you?"  
She nodded slightly "I'm looking for s-Lindsay Monroe?"  
"She's not feeling well."  
"And who are you? The Doctor?" The woman skeptically looked Danny up and down  
"No. Are you?" he leaned on the doorway  
"No. I'm her mother." With that comment- Danny stood upright. "I have your attention now hm? I bet you wish you would have put on a shirt or something."  
She pushed past the dumbstruck Danny and sat on the couch.  
"Well go and get her. I assume she's not really presentable at this moment?" She once again looked Danny up and down.  
"Yea. I'll go and get her." As he turned to the bedroom door, Lindsay's mother caught a glimpse of Danny's police badge. She shook her head.

"Who is it?" Lindsay whispered  
"It's your mother." Lindsay laughed "No I'm serious" he continued "She's sitting in the living room waiting for you.



Danny's phone rang. "Shit. I gotta go Montana." He threw on his shirt while Lindsay got dressed and they both entered the living room at the same time.  
"Yea. I'll be there in five minutes Stella. Yea- Traffic's really bad."  
He quickly kissed Lindsay on the lips, grabbed his coat, listening to Stella reprimand him via phone, he closed the door behind him.

"Well it's a good thing I've had you on birth control since you were 17."  
"Mother!" Lindsay down, running her hand through her hair.  
"You've cut your hair again."  
Lindsay nodded, "Why are you here Mom?"  
"Some lady named Stella called me last night and told me what happened. I was on the first plane over here. Plus it gives me and excuse to finally see your apartment and meet your boyfriend? Unless you've taken up prostitution and forgot to tell me. Maybe that's because you haven't called me in almost a year."  
Lindsay wished she could wake up- but this was no nightmare.  
"So who is he?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Still do not own any characters from CSI:NY**

Her mother repeated the question, "Who is he Lindsay?"  
"I guess he's my boyfriend."  
"You guess? Lindsay I'm disappointed in you"  
"I thought you were coming here to comfort me- not ridicule me"  
"Well I thought I might as well kill two birds with one stone." She shook her salt and pepper hair. "I didn't have a physical relationship until AFTER I was married. I thought I raised you better"  
Lindsay looked at the carpet, and spoke softly, "Sometimes things happen in life that changes your point of view."  
With that, her mother was silent. She had always carried some guilt about that prom night, because it was her that set up Lindsay and Jack. "I'm sorry." She mumbled back.  
With that comment, Lindsay shot up out of her chair, "There's nothing that you can do about it- saying you're sorry isn't going to change what happened. It's not going to stop the nightmares from coming every night, it's not going to stop the pain I feel every time I look in the mirror and see these marks. Saying sorry isn't going to help Danny understand why I can't even touch him sometimes because I'm too afraid that he'll go crazy, but I know he won't because he's wonderful and sweet and…" She collapsed back in her chair. "Saying sorry doesn't do anything." Lindsay mumbled, looking at her mother's face with tears welling up in her eyes.  
"Lindsay-" her mother got up from her seat on the couch and walked over to her daughter, rubbing her shoulder. "I don't know what to say"  
"That's alright." Lindsay mumbled, getting up and walking over to the kitchen. "No one knows what to say." She grabbed a box of cereal out of the cupboard and a bowl. "No one has known what to say. They didn't know how to tell me that all my friends were dead. That I lost three weeks of my life to a cold blooded killer- that he was actually…" She looked at her mother "_let out of jail._" She poured some cereal, "And came back and killed an innocent little girl because he's _obsessed_ with me. He can't leave me alone. He told me yesterday that I would never be safe. That he'd kill anyone that I love. Anyone close to me."

With that, she sat down at the tiny table and put her head in her arms, pushing the bowl away from her and onto the floor. It landed with a clatter and the dry cereal went everywhere.

"So that means Danny?" her mother walked over and started picking up the cereal.  
Lindsay just nodded slightly, not lifting her head. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

Her mother was without words, she bit her lip, searching for something to say to her much changed daughter. "Would going back to therapy help the dreams?"

Lindsay looked up, confused to where that comment was coming from. "No. It wouldn't. I've learned everything that's possible in three years, they wouldn't be telling me anything new."  
"But there are good doctors here in New York." Her mother set the bowl back on the table.  
Lindsay got up, no longer hungry, "I don't have the time or the money to go back. Nor do I want to. They'll put me on some medication which will make me go even crazier. Remember last time?"



Her mother did remember last time. Lindsay had almost tried to kill herself by downing an entire bottle of aspirin. Luckily her older brother came home from a party early and found her, calling 911 immediately. She was in the hospital for a week. She wouldn't talk to anyone. She had been close to dying. For the second time.  
"Does Danny know about the second time?"  
Lindsay shook her head, "It'd just worry him more."  
"I think he deserves to know."

Lindsay paced in the living room, unable to keep her focus on one thing, "I'm not like that anymore. It was just the medication. More than anything I just want to live!" she spun around and faced her mother "I want to go to work, come home, be with someone I love and who loves me, have a good quiet dinner and sleep. Uninterrupted. No psycho killers or surprise visits, or crazy hours or medication. I want to be _normal_"

"You should have thought of that before you decided to become a CSI."

Lindsay whispered fiercely at her mother, "I became a CSI so I could help prevent other killers from getting away and ruining other people's lives."

Her mother sat on the couch again, "Okay then."

There was a long silence, Lindsay looked out the window over the drying streets of New York. So much had happened in the last 24 hours it was hard to keep straight.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer- I did not think of any of the Characters of CSI:NY. **

**Also- Read and Review! I like to know what you think**

"I'm going to take a shower" she said in passing to her mother, who was seated on the couch eating Lindsay's forgotten cereal. She nodded slightly, but she was engrossed in the newspaper to say anything.

Lindsay's entire body was exhausted. Sleep wasn't an option at this point. She turned on the water as hot as it would go and stepped into the shower, attempting to wash the past day away, like it never happened. On occasion she would hear her mother bustling about in the apartment doing who knows what. Lindsay dismissed her mother from her thoughts. Instead she thought of Danny-she wondered what he was doing. It had only been an hour since he left, but it felt like four. She couldn't put her finger on it, but sometimes she needed him so much her body ached, yet at other times he couldn't touch her. It frightened her a little- her dependency on him. Yet it was strangely comforting at the same time. They had gone through rough patches, it's true, and most couple do. Like the Rikki incident. But they got past that, and it only seemed to make them stronger.

Lindsay sighed and turned off the water. Who knew how long she had stood, just thinking. As she wrapped herself in a fluffy blue towel she examined the small scar running across her neck. Suddenly flashes of that fateful night played simultaneously through her head. Her heart raced for a moment as she gripped the sink, feeling almost faint. She was falling- back to that night, her blue dress stained with her friend's blood. No- it was just her towel. Where was she? There was blood on the floor- no, that's not right…. It's only dirty laundry a red t-shirt of Danny's- she looked in the mirror again- there was blood running down her neck. NO! This isn't happening! She rubbed at her neck frantically- rubbing it raw. Everything was spinning. She could hear laughing- it was Jack, no, it wasn't- it was her mother out in the living room watching TV, she was suddenly watching the court case, her palms started to sweat as she stared out across a crowded court room, with Jack sitting, smiling. That smile. She gasped a few times for air- not realizing she hadn't been breathing. It was that same smile that she remembered blood dripping from. He licked his lips. He was speaking. Only he was saying her real name "Lindsay…. Lindsay you can't get away from me…."  
Suddenly everything came crashing to a halt.

"Lindsay? Are you okay in there sweetheart?" Her mother knocked on the door. Lindsay looked around. When had she fallen to the floor?  
"I'm alright mom." She got up slowly and dressed, feeling a bruise forming on the left side of her body. Most likely from when she fell.  
"There was a loud bump- are you okay?"  
"Yea mom- just dropped the blow-dryer. I'll be out in a few minutes."

With that, she heard her mother's footsteps recede away from the door. She was dressed now, running her fingers through her semi-wet hair. She should blow-dry it, since that what it sounded like she was doing. She let the hot air rush over her face after her hair was dry, to calm her racing heart. That had only happened once before, and it was a scary place to be. The last time that happened she took the bottle of aspirin out of the medicine cabinet and wanted to end it all.

She turned off the light and walked into the kitchen, where there was a sandwich waiting for her.

Her mother got up from the T.V. and pointed at the plate, "Eat something- otherwise you'll forget to. " Lindsay nodded and sat. "Are you sure you're alright Lindsay?" Her mother sat down beside her at the table. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."



Lindsay just wanted Danny to get off of work. Right now she needed him more than she needed a sandwich. "Yeah- I'll be fine." She got up and picked up her cell phone from the counter. One missed call- it was Danny. She listened to the message:

"Hey Montana- I hope you are doing alright. I'm working two shifts today- but I get off for lunch if you want to meet me somewhere, just call alright? Feel better. Love you."

Her insides melted. He had never said anything about love over the phone. She quickly dialed his number.

"Danny?"  
"Hey- you doin alright?"  
"No- but I'd like to take you up on your offer."  
"Sure- where?"  
She could tell he wasn't in a place where he could be personal, "Central Park. 20 minutes? You know where."  
"Alright. I'll see you soon." With that, he hung up the phone.

"What's that about?" her mother was chomping on the sandwich.  
"I'll be back." She grabbed her keys and headed down to their meeting spot.


	11. Chapter 11

**Note: Sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER. Life got the best of me and I've been busy with stuff. Here's a little tid-bit to get you back into it. And I know this doesn't follow the current season or anything at all anymore, but that's what a fanfic is all about right? Please read and review! Thanks for waiting!**

**Still don't own any characters from CSI:NY**

Lindsay had never been so paranoid. Everyone that crossed her path could have been a cold blooded killer. A small part of her brain kept her in check. _Stop being ridiculous: No one is going to get you in broad daylight._ But she still kept one eye on everyone who passed. Just in case.

There was a man on the corner in a black jacket- a perfect suspect. Or the woman with the heavy makeup and the fake looking hair; what was she trying to cover up? The kid with his pants hanging too low; he looked like he was up to no good. The man standing in the alley trying to sell fake purses out of black garbage bags, because that was legal. _Just fine upstanding New York citizens._ She thought, and sighed, pulling her coat closer to her.

Finally, she came to central park. The wind whipped the trees around; the leaves would change colors and start falling soon. Lindsay didn't really notice, she was too busy with her own thoughts. She turned the corner and saw the tree. A meeting place for her and Danny could meet up before or after work. Standing at the tree was a figure she knew well. As she walked up to him, he turned.

"Hey Montana." Danny wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His breath tickled her ear, "How are you?"  
She buried her face in his coat and mumbled, "Mrph."  
He laughed a little- Lindsay felt his chest vibrate, "That bad huh?"  
She stepped away from him, her eyes wild with fear and confusion. Words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop and think, "Danny- there's something you should know after… after that incident… after I better, well sorta, I… I…" She gulped in air, "I tried to kill myself. It was the anti-depressants they had me on. After that…I had three years of therapy. I don't want to lie anymore and I… I…" she shook her head and turned away.  
"Montana." He touched her shoulder, but she didn't turn around. "Lindsay. Please. I know you've been hurt. Will you look at me?"  
She turned slowly, and he took her hands in his. "I don't know what to do right now. But whatever you need, I'm here. Or if you need me to back off, I will." He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "Okay?"  
She nodded, "Alright." Lindsay looked up at him. His face was concerned, and thoughtful. "I'm… I'm sorry." She finally managed.  
He kissed her gently, "This is rough for you. I understand. I've had my fill of god-awful things happening to me." She looked at him with a questioning look. "No, I won't go into it now."  
He kissed her nose and Lindsay smiled a little. "Look! It hasn't disappeared!"  
She stepped away from him. "What hasn't?"  
"Your smile. You hungry? We're running out of time."  
She paused for a second, trying to figure out this man in front of her. "Sure. You got time to eat?"  
He laughed and pulled her close to him as they walked out of the park, "I've always got time to eat."


End file.
